I LIKE CATS, HE LIKES DOGS. I LIKE THE LIGHTS ON, HE WANTS ‘EM OFF! IS IT A DEAL BREAKER? NO! YOUR RELATIONSHIP CAN WORK EVEN IF YOU’RE OPPOSITES!
Life would have been so much easier if I had married a male version of myself, right? Imagine him doing exactly what I like, eating exactly what I like, cooking *if I’m lucky* exactly what I like. Looks promising, doesn’t it? Trust me, it’s not.
My husband, Pete, and I – we’re complete opposites, but we try hard to maintain that equilibrium by being honestly sarcastic! So we came to a conclusion that the only thing we have in common is that we hate being opposites, but we’re different individuals, what choice do we have? We keep having sarcastic verbal wars every now and then, all in good will.
We don’t fight over the fact that we’re different from each other, instead we highlight our differences. We make each other look better! You don’t understand, do you?
Just earlier this week, Pete invited a few friends over at home. Then, when everything was over, he sarcastically apologized for not being more “like me” – a nerdy, book-loving, shy, non-drinker. And I couldn’t hold back, so I sarcastically apologized for not being an addict gamer, bar hopping, sassy girl who loves listening to Lady Gaga! [Read: Do opposites attract or do they push each other away?]
Why opposites attract
Where’s the fun in life if there are no surprises? Imagine a situation where you and your spouse are the same, and both of you know that you don’t expect gifts on your birthday, but it would be nice to receive them. Now it’s your birthday, but your partner doesn’t gift you anything because you’re not expecting them! So boring!
But imagine a situation where your partner surprises you with an expensive dress? Or she surprises you with front row seats to the NBA finals? Don’t tell me you wouldn’t like it, because deep down we all love to lead delightfully unpredictable lives. Today you’re here, tomorrow you’re there! That’s life.
In my case, I think the only reason Pete and I are together is because of the number of young women he has dated, so I bring to his life the least amount of drama! Of course, he thinks that he would be much “happier” with girls who like to live on the edge. But he always ends up with a black eye, thanks to these edgy girls’ crazy ex-boyfriends.
Having said that, the fact is that Pete hasn’t been punched in the eye in years, and that’s thanks to me because I’m calm and extremely boring. It’s funny how we ended up together then, right? He likes adventure. I like, well, not boredom, but let’s just say I like staying put. [Read: How different are you two? – Test your compatibility with these 50 questions]
When it comes to choosing a good life partner, what you want and what you need are different. Of course. We all want a life partner who’s just like us, but what we really need is a partner who challenges us, inspires us, and loves us despite our differences. Isn’t that what happiness and success is all about?
So no matter how much you want to be married to someone just like you, trust me, it’s not fun, it’s not exciting, and life will turn out to be less progressive. You want to climb the ladder of success. Whether in your relationship or at work, remember that climbing also requires one right and one left leg!
Being complete opposites means leading different lives together, and this means twice the fun. Apart from finding ways to develop each other, there are lots of other things you should understand in order to have an awesome relationship.
#1 Always remember that you complement each other. If you’re married to or dating your opposite, always remember that where they are weak, you are strong and vice versa. A perfect couple is not one that thinks alike, it’s one that thinks different and fills in the gaps of the other. [Read: 9 ways you and your partner bring out each other’s best]
#2 Being with a mirror image of yourself will be deadly boring. Remind yourself that you’re with your complete opposite, not because you think the same things, but because you don’t. They say love is blind, so let love decide because most of the time, if not all, you will be attracted to someone who is your complete opposite!
A partner just like you will not allow you to grow, and you won’t be able to challenge each other’s weaknesses and strengths. Life is awesome if it’s filled with risks, challenges, surprises, love, and mysteries. [Read: 8 tips to get the monotony out of your relationship]
#3 Be different, and help each other grow. For example, when we first met, I always used to take my time if I had to attend an event, but Pete was always on time. After our wedding, even I started attending events on time, because let’s face it, it’s a good thing, and Pete encouraged me.
On the other hand, Pete was a spendthrift before marriage, today he’s saving for our future, and he learned that from me! It’s important that you know each other’s strengths and weaknesses, so that you can grow together as a couple. [Read: 17 brilliant yet simple ways to save money as a couple]
#4 Learn to compromise for a healthy relationship. The only thing that keeps a complete opposite couple together is their ability to compromise at times. You don’t have to do it on a daily basis, but if you feel it’s important for your better half, do it, and you’ll see how happy it makes them.
Sometimes, all it takes to make the other half happy is taking the bullet and showing them some interest. It would definitely mean the world to them, just as much as it would mean to you if they were to do the same for you. Be selfless, *at times!*. [Read: 7 reasons empathy is important in a relationship]
#5 Be sensitive and learn to apologize. Understand that you’re human, and you will make mistakes. It’s inevitable, but when you do, be sensitive and apologize. We’re humans, we’re going to be selfish i.e. we’re going to be sensitive to our own needs. While it’s okay to love ourselves, keep in mind your partner’s needs and what makes them tick.
When arguments happen, handle them in a proper manner, and resolve them quickly. If you’re wrong, apologize for your mistakes, and if you weren’t, be humble, and let your partner know that you’re sorry about the argument. [Read: 17 super sweet ways to apologize to your partner]
Remember how I began writing this article? Those were my ideas when I was younger. I wanted to always date and marry an awesome male version of myself. This is what I wanted because my idea of a happy life was to be with a man who was everything I’d like to be.
Today, things are different. Today, I’d rather be a first class version of myself and be with a man who helps me achieve that, no matter what!